Two Can Play
by samcedeswannabe
Summary: Who would have thought the business of selling homes could be so messy? *Short AU Samcedes fiction*
1. Chapter 1

She resisted the urge to shut her eyes as the piercing cries of the red faced baby in front of her continued to stab her eardrums. Her doe eyes merely squinted as the couple looked around the house, talking to each other about the paint colour as their child flailed wildly in the father's arms. Mercedes Jones rubbed her right temple with her free hand as the other clutched the clipboard in her hand. "Um…I'll let you two have a moment to talk this out and I'll be right down in the kitchen if you need me." She gritted through her teeth as cheerfully as she possibly could while a bone crushing migraine pounded in the back of her skull. The couple paused and gave her a look of slight annoyance.

"This room colour is red…..who would ever want to have a red room?" The husband scoffed, "Looks like someone had a nose bleed and just sneezed all over everyth—"

"You know what, this might take awhile. We'll come and get you once this is sorted out thanks." The wife cut her husband off and grabbed the baby from the man beside her. The infant immediately quieted down in his mother's embrace. Mercedes simply nodded and turned quickly on her heels away from the slightly difficult family. She stepped into the kitchen and poured herself a tall glass of the champagne they had out for the clients of the open house. The cool glass of the flute pressed to her crimson lips before she paused, sighed, and set it down. It probably would make more sense to drink a glass of water instead, especially if she wanted to pop an Advil. She sadly eyed the drink before she walked over to her purse and grabbed her pill bottle. "Well bottoms up." She mumbled tiredly before she tossed back the pill, slightly lodging it in her throat. She moved quickly to grab one of the flutes, coughing as the tiny item remained lodged, and attempted to fill the glass with water. Before she could even get the liquid in the cup a strong pair of arms wrapped around her middle and hoisted her off of the ground. She gasped in surprise, promptly swallowing the intrusive pill.

"There we are, I think I about saved your life right there." A booming deep voice sounded behind her. Mercedes turned around quickly to stare up at a tall dirty blonde haired man.

She rubbed at her throat and narrowed her eyes, "I wasn't choking, it was just a little stuck." She rasped out, "If anything you almost killed me." She coughed a bit and wiped at her leaking eyes.

The taller man shrugged, "Not what it looked like to me." He gave her a small grin, "You're welcome anyway."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and pointed a short finger in his direction, "If anything you should be thankful that I don't sue you buddy."

"Well that's not a very nice thing to do to someone who just saved you from croaking." His green eyes widened in offense. "You're setting a bad precedent for future people who could be choking. I might not help them anymore if they have this kind of attitude."

Mercedes shook her head, "Good, then they might avoid a death grip around their torsos!" Her headache was still paining her and being hoisted in the air and squeezed to death hadn't made her feel any better. If anything her ribs were now aching as well.

The blonde scoffed and furrowed his brow in frustration before he chuckled and shook his head. "You looked a lot friendlier on the sign outside."

"Well yea. It's probably because I wasn't being manhandled while taking that photo." She placed a hand on her hip. "Now may I help you with something?"

"Well I _wanted _to introduce myself, but…"He looked at her for a moment as she stared back at him silently. He gave her a small smile, "You're a tough cookie huh?"

"No, I'm a tired woman." She frowned and finally grabbed herself a glass of water. She let it soothe her throat before she chose to speak. "Mr….."

"Evans" The man offered.

"Mr. Evans, are you here to buy this house or simply here to make life difficult?"

He rubbed at his brownish beard for a moment and raised an inquisitive brow, "Sometimes difficult can be fun, right?"

She frowned and sighed, why couldn't today just be an easy day for her, "Um…." Just as she was about to answer, the small family came downstairs and looked absolutely exhausted. Both Mercedes and the gentleman beside her, stared at them.

"We've decided to take the house." The husband said almost solemnly.

"Really?" The blonde asked. Mercedes glanced at him. "A family your size should definitely look at the house just down the block from here. Same amount of square feet at half the cost." The shorter woman's mouth dropped. "A new family such as you could save thousands at another listing." He grinned and dragged his long fingers through his hair. "Lucky for you, I'm the kind of real estate agent who can get you in. Or as the kids say, hook you up."

The couple looked at each other for a moment and then nodded slowly. The wife shrugged, "Money…was definitely an issue…..but we hadn't heard about anything better." She glanced at Mercedes who continued to stand there stunned as her sale slipped out of her grasp.

"This is an amazing listing with great renovations! This is the home that you would like your son to grow up in." Mercedes interjected quickly and glared at the blonde beside her. "This man knows nothing about what he's talking about."

"The house I'm thinking of already has the perfect space for a nursery and adjoining rooms for easy access to your handsome boy there." He beamed a perfect smile and glanced at Mercedes, "The previous owners just built a Jacuzzi in the master bedroom as well. You can use them for those wind down days that you two might need once in awhile." He laughed, "Am I right?"

The husband quickly looked at his wife and smiled, "Yea, you're right. It's been tough." Mercedes grabbed the blonde man's arm, noticing the firm muscle beneath the fabric, and began pulling him away.

"Excuse us for a moment." She smiled and dragged him outside. Once they were out of earshot she growled, "What the HELL do you think you're doing?" He laughed, "This is not a laughing matter Mr. Evans, I should call the police right now for harassment."

"My name is Sam." He smiled and her right eye began to twitch.

"I don't care whoever the hell you are, stop bothering my clients."

He shrugged and leaned towards her, forcing her to step back, "I believe they're my clients now." He whispered and then stood at his full height. "Ah, I see you've come to join us." He boomed out. Mercedes turned to see that the small family had come outside.

The wife seemed a bit happier than before, "We would like to see the house you were speaking about Mr…."

"Mr. Evans, but no need for formalities," He smiled that damn boyish smile, "Just call me Sam." He stretched out his hand and shook the husband's firmly. "Now if you lovely folks wouldn't mind following me, I can take you to your new family home right away." He clapped his hands together and looked over at Mercedes. "I've been in the real estate business for ten years now and I can always tell what my clients need and _deserve._" He shrugged, "Unfortunately, my competition isn't always so…." He cleared his throat, "Talented."

"Mr. Evans, these are my clients and I am pretty sure that what you're doing is illegal!" Mercedes shouted as they walked away. Sam paused for a moment and looked at the couple.

"Well Mr and Mrs…" He began.

"Just call us Rick and Christine."

"Amazing names for amazing people." He joked. Mercedes resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Would you like to put an offer down for this house or…."

The couple looked at Mercedes apologetically, "We are so thankful Ms. Jones, but we think Sam might understand us a bit more. We'll make all arrangements tomorrow to terminate our partnership." Mercedes bit her bottom lip in frustration and simply nodded.

"Well then, the people have spoken." Sam smiled and cocked his head to the side before approaching Mercedes. He stretched his hand out. "No hard feelings?" She looked over his shoulder and saw the couple looking at them. Smiling, she took his hand in her own and dug her nails into the rough flesh.

"I'm going to squash you like a bug Evans…..like a dirty cockroach beneath my shoe."

He grimaced and then smiled, "Mmm I can't wait." He pulled his hand away from hers, "That just means I get to see you again." He said quietly enough for only her to hear him. Her eyes widened in slight shock, but then quickly narrowed as he left with her clients. He might have won the battle, but she was damn sure she was going to win the war.

A/N: Just needed a quick stress release, thankfully my course is done tomorrow so I can update Silent Noise soon! Thanks to anyone who has been patient. I realised that I have some readers on FF who don't have Tumblr and I know they've been waiting a lonnnng time for an update on Silent Noise as well. So sorry for that.


	2. Chapter 2

Mercedes parked the car, lowered her sunglasses, and stared through the passenger side window. Her eyes narrowed at the amount of people approaching the listed home. She was never able to reel in that many people, maybe maximum five possible clients, but never fifteen or so. The blonde sitting beside her in the passenger's seat shifted uncomfortably as Mercedes stared silently outside, "Are you sure that this is a good idea?" The woman looked out the window as well and then back at Mercedes. "I don't want anything to happen to Beth."

"I'll be fine mommy!" Beth chimed in from her booster seat in the back. "Aunty Cedes said it's going to be like Halloween, but in the summer time!" Quinn Fabray looked at her six year old daughter and frowned at how terrifyingly grotesque the normally angelic child looked. "I love playing dress up!" The little girl said in a sing song voice as she played with the new Barbie Mercedes had bribed her with.

"Mercedes she looks like the creature from the Grudge" The mother sighed as she regarded her daughter once again. "But with more open sores and blood everywhere…."

Mercedes laughed and looked at her goddaughter. "I know right?! She looks amazing." She shook her head in admiration and disbelief, "Good thing Sugar knows some makeup artists." She reached back and tickled the child who in turn squealed in delight. Quinn made a tutting sound and smoothed down the front of her dress. "Q, don't worry. No one will hurt Beth, I promise." Mercedes reached out and took the woman's hand and squeezed it gently. Quinn looked up and nodded slowly. "Alright, are my two lovely actresses ready for their time to shine?!"The mother daughter duo nodded almost in an eerie unison.

"I love you baby." Quinn reached back and rubbed the top of her daughter's hand before she exited the car to join the other viewers in the house. Mercedes turned around and looked at the little child whose blond hair was matted with fake dry blood and covered half of her face. The older woman had to admit that the child looked terrifying even to her. Beth put the doll down and smiled up at her aunt. Even her little teeth had been browned and stained. Mercedes did her best not to cringe at the sight.

"Hun, you look so scary right now."

The little girl beamed even more, "Thanks aunty Cedes!" Mercedes laughed and slipped out of the car. She opened the door for the little to get out from the back. Quickly she looked around, threw a blanket on top of the squealing little girl, and walked briskly to the back of the house. They walked into the gated backyard and slipped inside of the home. Mercedes could hear the booming voice of her nemesis coming from the kitchen down the hall. She had told Quinn to make sure that she asked him to see it first. It gave Mercedes and Beth enough time to hustle to the bedrooms upstairs.

When Mercedes wanted something, she would do anything to get it, and what she truly wanted right now was revenge. She had studied the layout of the house and immediately located the room where the previous owner's daughters slept. Gently, she pulled the blanket off of the little girl's body and looked at her.

"How are you doing kiddo?" She smiled down at the blonde child.

Beth shrugged, "Kind of hungry I guess. I also kind of have to use the bathroom." Mercedes frowned.

"Well, can you hold it for like fifteen minutes?" The little girl nodded. "Awesome, there's my little champ."

"Aunty I'm not a chimp, I'm a girl." Beth pouted.

Mercedes covered her mouth to stifle her laugh. "I said champ, like champion." The blonde's eyes widened and then she smiled which led to a fit of giggles. "Alright, now you know what to do right?" Beth nodded and Mercedes pat her head, the sticky feeling of the fake blood nearly made her gag. "I love you and I'll be right back." She softly walked across the hall and leaned over the banister to listen. Sam was going on and on about the light fixtures and how they really brought the kitchen to life. She rolled her eyes and padded down the stairs, past the living room, and into the backyard.

Quinn flipped her hair and bat her eyes at the blonde man in front of her as he droned on and on about the fixtures that she had inquired about. She eyed him up and down, wondering why Cedes didn't just jump on him instead of seeking revenge. "….that's why it's important to use these kinds of lights with this layout." He finished off and looked at her with a wide smile. Quinn gave him a brief smile and looked at the others around them. Her face became very serious as she looked around.

"I heard that a family was murdered here, is that true?" She looked back at him and wrapped her arms around her body as if she was suddenly feeling cold. Sam's eyes widened in shock and the others looked at each other with a hint of surprise and fear.

"No that is not true and I'm not sure where….ha….where you would have heard that." He tried to force a smile. Quinn looked at the others who were staring back at her in confusion.

"I…I can sometimes feel things….you know…..spirits around me and sometimes…" she licked her lips, "…they tell me messages….and they're telling me that they don't want you in their house." Her eyes bored into Sam's.

"That's insane," his voice became tight and then he forced a dry laugh, "No one has died here, this home is spirit free unless you're talking about the delicious wine that I have laid out for all of you." He gestured to the food platter and wine on the mini island in the middle of the kitchen. "Why don't we all just take a moment and eat."

Quinn stepped back from the group and began looking around as if anxious and disturbed. "They don't want us here!" She raised her voice and a loud bang sounded from upstairs which caused everyone to jump. "They're angry! Don't you see that?!" Quinn's body shook in fear. In the back of her mind she wondered if she should get into acting.

"Sir if someone done died up here in this holy hell of a house I think it's your duty as an agent to tell us the doggone truth!" One man sputtered out, eyes bugging out of his head. Another loud bang sounded from upstairs which was then followed by the sound of loud running across the hallway. A slam of the door was the final strike for a woman who screamed loudly and grabbed her husband's arm tightly.

"This is ridiculous!" Sam smacked his hand down on the island and then walked out of the kitchen. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this insanity." He stormed up the stairs as the people waited downstairs. Quinn looked around at the others.

"We can't let him go alone, the spirits are not pleased and who knows what they can do" She said in a panic.

"Lady I'm getting the hell out of this place." One woman pushed past Quinn and tried to open the front door but found that it wouldn't budge. "I am NOT DYING IN THIS HOUSE!" She yelled as the other people looked around in a panic. The backyard door began slamming causing everyone to scream and run in different directions.

"Go upstairs!" Quinn yelled and everyone listened, although in hindsight it didn't make any sense. Sam was just opening the little girl's room when everyone clamoured up the stairs in fear and ran into him, demanding he get them out. The blonde toppled into the room, falling on to the floor, with one man falling on top of him.

"Sir you're crushing my liver." Sam gasped as the large man tried to roll off of him.

Quinn stared at the closet door which was slowly opening in front of their eyes. Everyone paused and stared at the now opened door. Beth ran out from the closet, screaming an ear shattering scream. Everyone ran out of the room, including Sam who scrambled up from the floor. Quinn stepped back and quickly grabbed her giggling daughter's hand once everyone had fled. They watched as everyone ran out the front door which was now suddenly open. "Good job baby." Quinn smiled and kissed her daughter's forehead before whisking her out through the backyard where Mercedes was waiting with the blanket. They all crouched behind a bush and watched as the people either hopped into their cars or merely ran down the street. The trio ran across the lawn and dove into the car, driving away happily. Mercedes wondered if it had all been too much. Perhaps it had been, but she most definitely felt like it was worth it.

* * *

Mercedes slid into the booth across from Quinn and the now cleaned up Beth. They hadn't been able to stop laughing since the incident earlier that afternoon. "That was so much fun mommy, can we do it again?"

Quinn shook her head and sipped on the milkshake she had ordered, "Uh….no." She laughed, "That was fun, but really scary for mommy." Mercedes ripped a piece of her chicken strip and popped it into her mouth as she laughed.

"That was absolutely hilarious. Plus I learned that I'm really fast at running too." She shook her head. "It wasn't easy tying that rope around the doorknob to that huge garden statue outside and then running all the way back to mess with the backdoor." She leaned back into the cushioned booth and sighed in content, "But I bet the look on his face was insanely worth it."

Quinn giggled as she took one of Beth's fries, "Oh it was." She dipped it into some ketchup and munched happily before hugging her daughter to her side, peppering her face with kisses.

"Was it really worth it?" A deep voice sounded and all three looked up at the tall blonde man who slid into the booth seat where Mercedes sat. They all stared at him silently. "You three look like you've seen a ghost or something." He smiled, his green eyes twinkling as he looked at Beth. She giggled happily. "You were pretty amazing today young lady."

She blushed and ducked her head, "Thank you." Quinn looked at Mercedes for some kind of cue, but Mercedes could only stare at the man beside her. His attention moved to the other blonde at the table.

"I suppose you get your talents from your older sister here." Quinn blushed and then rolled her eyes.

"She's my mommy not my sister silly." The little girl laughed at the man before her.

Sam gasped, "Oh my apologies." He finally turned his attention to Mercedes who was staring very hard at him. "Hello Ms. Jones."

"Mr. Evans, did you follow me here?" He nodded and then smiled.

He reached over and took one of her chicken strips, "Yea, after I saw you three rascals running to your car, I thought it'd be nice to meet everyone face to face." He munched thoughtfully on the strip. Mercedes couldn't help but notice how he licked his lips and Sam couldn't help but notice her noticing him. He bit his lip and she looked up into his eyes before glancing away angrily. He chuckled and stood up. "Well it was nice meeting you…." He stretched his hand out to Quinn.

"…uh Quinn."

"It was nice meeting you Uh Quinn and little ghost child." He grinned and winked at Beth who smiled proudly at the new name. Mercedes rolled her eyes at him. Sam glanced at her and walked out of the restaurant. She ran out after him and grabbed his arm before he could get into his car.

"Wait that's it?!" She shook her head in disbelief. Sam looked down at her and grinned.

"That was a very clever prank Mercedes….very clever." He folded his arms across his chest. "I definitely lost a lot of sales because of it and maybe I deserved it a little."

She nodded, "Okay, so we're even now." He reached out and brushed her hair back from her face, her body shivering under the contact. The blonde leaned forward and Mercedes couldn't help but stare at his mouth, wanting to taste his lips on her tongue.

He hovered above her lips for a moment and then kissed her lightly. She leaned in for more, but he slowly pulled back. "You are so damn beautiful Mercedes," His voice was deep and slightly breathy, "I really wish I didn't have to destroy your career now." He stepped back and opened his car door. Mercedes stood there in shock.

"Destroy my career?! That's a bit much don't you think!?" She placed her hands firmly on her hips.

Sam closed the car door once he was in and started it up, "Nope, seems to be just the right amount of animosity." He flashed her a smile and pulled away from the restaurant.

Mercedes stared after the car for a long time before muttering, "Crap," under her breath.

A/N: This is just a short ficlet to help me get back into back into the swing of writing. I'm a bit rusty so please bear with me.


	3. Chapter 3

"So let me get this straight…" The hazel eyed man stared at the blonde sitting across from him. He touched his index finger to his temple as he paused, "…she made her friend's daughter hide in a closet and pretend to be a ghost to pretty much fuck up your sale….." He held back a laugh and pinched the bridge of his nose, "…Am I….am I getting this right?" Sam nodded slowly as he sipped his coffee and pet the cat that sat on his lap.

He made a face at the bitter brew and put it down on the coffee table, "Why am I drinking this? I hate coffee." He frowned at his long term friend. "See what she's doing to me? I'm drinking coffee Puck! I wanted to make a hot chocolate…..and I made coffee." He shook his head and scratched the side of his face.

Noah Puckeman stared at his friend and gave him a sly grin, "Do she got a booty?"

Sam sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, "She do."

Puck sucked in a breath, "That sucks man…" He watched as Sam absent mindedly stroked the gray cat in his lap. "…dude, when did you get a cat?" Sam paused for a moment, looked down at the feline, and then jumped up. The cat roared to life, dashed through the house, and out the front window.

"Holy hell!" Sam exclaimed as he looked at his hands in slight disgust, "I don't even know whose cat that was." He shook his head, "What's happening to me man?" He began pacing back and forth, "I honestly just want to ask her out for some drinks or something, you know?" He shrugged, "Get to know her, figure her likes and dislikes…"

"So you can crush her." Puck offered.

Sam shook his head, "No, so I can date her." His friend stared back at him in confusion. "Yea, I know. It's confusing, but I told her that I was going to destroy her career and I'm a man of my word Puck."

Puck leaned forward and stared at the obviously troubled man. "Alright, so what do you want me to do?" He bit his lip, "Does she have a dog? I can steal it, keep it for a year, make it love me unconditionally, and then give it back to her." He grinned mischievously. "That dog will whimper all the time because it misses me and then real estate chick is going to be crushed!" After a moment a slight frown transformed his face, "I'm going to miss that dog man….." His lip quivered, "I don't think I can do it Sam…I can't do it to that little dog. Especially if it's a chick dog, she'll never want to leave me. It's a curse and blessing." He stared down at his hands as he thought about the imaginary dog.

Sam raised a brow at his friend's back and forth, "Are you okay?"

Puck sniffed, "Yea man, just give me a second." Sam had to really rethink his friendships through.

"Alright, snap out of it." He snapped his fingers, "This is what I need you to do…."

* * *

Mercedes stepped into the house and looked around nervously. After Sam had threatened her career she always seemed to be on edge that he would pop out of the shadows, inciting a heart attack or something. Maybe this was the curse; she would make herself go crazy living in fear of when the attack would eventually come. She slung her black purse, her only purse, around her shoulder and peeked into the kitchen. Her ears perked up at the sound of footsteps behind her. She grabbed her mace and pointed it in the direction of the intruder. The tall handsome tanned man put his hands up, "Woah there mama, let's not get crazy here." He smiled and then stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I just came to check this place out….what a warm welcome." She immediately put the item away and frowned.

"I'm so sorry sir."

The man shrugged and licked his bottom lip, "Not sir. Puck." He winked, "Rhymes with something I'm really good at…." She raised a brow awaiting the interesting response, "…luck. Because I'm lucky."

Mercedes stared at him for a moment, looking him over as if he were not too bright. "Mhm, well Puck…what are you looking for exactly?" He stared blankly at her, blinking slowly as he processed the question. "You _are _here to purchase a house right?" His eyes lit up and he began laughing.

"Oh yea, yea I am…looking for a house. Houses just like this one to be exact." He grinned and walked around a bit, her eyes followed his muscular form as he knocked on the walls and pressed his ear to it. "Good and sturdy foundation we got going on here." He chuckled to himself before placing his hands on his hips and letting out a long whistle. "So….do you have any dogs?" He turned to eye her, clicking his tongue awaiting her answer.

She looked out the door as more people began milling in, "Well hello there, welcome!" She said cheerfully, "I'll be right with you." Her expression became curious when she looked back at him. "Yea, I have a small dog. He's very friendly and would love this space to play in." She smiled warmly at him and he sniffed.

"Wow, yea. I just adopted a Golden Retriever yesterday." He smiled proudly, "I recently learned that I really love dogs, so I went out to the shelter and snatched Lil Bow Wow up." He fumbled in his wallet for a picture and showed Mercedes.

She held the picture and cooed, "What a cutie!" Puck beamed at her and stuffed the picture in his pocket. "He even looks a little like Bow Wow." She laughed and Puck looked her over.

"I know right?" He squinted at her and gave her a sad smile, "You seem like a cool chick." He shook his head and muttered "shame" under his breath.

"Sorry? What was that?" She inquired.

He cleared his throat, "I said….." He paused for a long time as he thought up an answer. "….is it hot in here?" She shook her head no. "I'm going to just ….." He pointed towards the stairs as more people trickled into the house. "I'm just going to look around."

"Okay let me know if you need me." Mercedes offered him a weak smile. He was a very peculiar person and it made her feel like he was up to something or at least just a bit crazy. The day flew by quickly with random clients popping in and out of the home. She hadn't seen the man named 'Puck' leave but she assumed he must have slipped out when she was dealing with the other people around. At the end of it all, she made sure she locked everything up, and turned off all the lights. The day had been amazing and she even had interested buyers who were going to place an offer on it the next day. She stepped out of the house, made sure the door was locked, and headed home for the night.

Bright and early the next morning she received a phone call from the current homeowners blasting her for leaving the sinks on as well the tub. It had resulted in the flooding of the bathroom floor. Her eyes flew open in disbelief when they mentioned that the upstairs window was open and a picture of a Golden Retriever remained on the floor.

* * *

Sam whistled happily as he entered his new house. After having to clear his name by showing historical records of no deaths at his last listing, people felt more assured that a repeat offense wouldn't happen. The homeowners he typically worked with generally left fruit platters or vegetable platters in the fridge for him to set out. When he peeked in, his mouth began to salivate at the delicious chocolate brownies on the top shelf. Chocolate was definitely a weakness of his, he had to admit that. He grabbed one and hungrily ate one…..okay he ate two, but he was only human. They were absolutely delicious. He plopped them down on to the counter and grabbed a package of napkins from one of the cupboards. Whistling still, he laid them out for the people who would be by to look at the house in twenty minutes or so. He did his normal survey of the home to make sure it was in proper condition when his stomach began to make some weird sounds. The blonde made a face as he moved about the home, his stomach continuing to gurgle and fill with gases. He clutched at his stomach and stared longingly at the bathroom. He moved to enter it when he heard people enter the home downstairs. "Oh god." He groaned as his belly churned angrily.

"Hello!" A woman and a rather tall man entered looking thoughtfully around the property. "We're the Hudson's. I'm Tina and this is my husband Finn." Sam forced a smile and shook their hands. His belly made a loud 'Errrrrrrrrrrrr' sound that caught everyone's attention. They looked him over, "Sir are you okay?...you're turning red and sweating quite a bit there." The woman flipped her dark hair over her shoulder and looked at the tall brunette beside her. "Doesn't he baby?"

The taller man nodded and stared at Sam who was now turning pale. Sam groaned and clutched at his stomach. "Yea man, you should maybe see a doctor or something." He let out a small sneeze. The pressure buildup in his stomach popped at the quick sneeze releasing all the gas that he had in his toned body. "Sweet baby jesus." Finn whispered under his breath. Embarrassed, Sam ran up the stairs to the bathroom and stayed in there for a good hour. He held his head in his hands as he sat on his porcelain throne, ignoring the intrusive knocks of the people who had come to look at the home. Once he was finally able to stand again, he made his way down to the kitchen and found that everyone had left. The brownies and the platter were gone completely much to his shock. In its place was a single white envelope. He opened it carefully, read the contents before crumpling the paper in his hand and tossed it across the room in anger and annoyance.

"That's it!" He yelled to no one in particular. His eyes closed tightly as his stomach began to churn once again. He ran up the stairs to reclaim his throne. This was the last strike. He was ready to end her career now, he would make a call to a good friend as soon as he could stand for longer than five minutes.

The letter remained on the floor:

_Dear Mr. Evans,_

_I really hope that you enjoyed the special brownies I prepared just for you! Based on what Tina and Finn told me, you seemed to enjoy them too much. I hope you didn't eat more than one….but if you did, then….oh well. I just figured that you needed to take a seat, so enjoy your throne Evans…enjoy it for the next two to three hours._

* * *

Mercedes wrapped her robe around her curvy frame and propped her leg on her bed so that she could moisturize the last limb on her body. She had just hopped out of a much needed bath and decided that she needed time to wind down after the stressful few days she had dealt with. Her wallet was lighter after she had to pay out of her own pocket for the damaged floor in the last house Sam had sabotaged. She laughed to herself as she wished that she could have seen the look on his face when he read the letter dropped off for him by her best friends.

The sounds of loud knocking at her door broke her out of her thoughts. She stared at her apartment door which was conveniently across from her bedroom. Unsure of what to do, she grabbed a pair of scissors from under her pillow, and headed to the door. She peeped through the eyehole and rolled her eyes. "What do you want Mr. Evans?!" She yelled out.

"I need to talk to you Ms. Jones. It's time we settle this!" He folded his arms across his chest.

She squinted one eye, "I've seen enough murder mystery shows not to fall for this." She sighed and pulled her robe tighter around her. "Now go home."

"I'm not leaving." He sat down on the cold floor and waited. Mercedes sighed and opened the door. The blonde looked up at her before he slowly stood up and towered over her. His eyes roamed over her curvy frame and landed on the swell of her breasts. The glance made her shiver. He looked into her eyes and pursed his lips in anger. "You could have killed me Mercedes. What if I had been feeling glutton that day!?" His face was slightly red.

Mercedes shrugged, "That was a risk I guess I was willing to take!" She narrowed her eyes back at him, "Do you know how much money you cost me because of your stupid friend leaving the water on in my clients house!? You….you ass!"

"Yea. But did you die?!" He roared from the door.

"No and neither did you jackass!" Her chest was heaving up and down as the anger coursed through her. They stared at each other for a moment before she took a step back, "Come in here." He looked at her in confusion before stepping into the cozy apartment. "Alright we have two choices here."

Sam's green eyes darkened as he looked her over, "Uh huh and they are?"

"Well I'm pissed as hell and I haven't had sex in over six months. So we can continue to yell at each other until one of us pretty much kills the other….and I assure you I have good aim…." She waved the scissors menacingly at him. "…or we can deal with this the fun way." He stared at her for a moment, his face still red. She glanced at her hand awkwardly as she waited, "Actually never mi-" Before she could even finish her sentence, his lips were on hers. He kicked backwards, slamming the door behind him shut. She moaned into the fervor of his kiss as his hands found the sash of her robe, tugging it open. His cool hands slid across her skin as the robe dropped to the floor, pooling around her feet. She groaned, "Mmm…good thing you didn't die." Sam laughed against her lips.

"Shhh." He pulled her against him and kissed her again.

A/N: Please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors. Leave feedback if you can, it's always nice to see.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam rolled over, adjusted his 'Franks and beans', and sighed. The feeling of a warm breath tickling the hairs of his beard made him smile as his eyes remained closed. He slightly frowned as the pungent breath continued to assault his nose. _Damn Mercedes, your morning breath is deadly. _He thought to himself as he tried to hold his breath, but failed miserably after a few seconds. _I guess every beautiful woman has some kind of flaw…I'll just pop a tic-tac in her mouth as she sleeps next time. _The sound of a low growl finally forced him to open his eyes and he found himself staring into the large brown eyes of a Pomeranian. He made a face as the small dog licked the tip of his nose in a friendly gesture to say hello. "Ugh…"he laughed and wiped the drool with the back of his hand. The woman beside him stirred in her sleep. The blonde rolled over and wrapped his arm snuggly around her waist. Her body tensed at the contact and then slowly began to ease into the embrace.

"Mr. Evans…" She yawned, "…why are you spooning me?" Her body was sore from the very busy night they had, she could have handled one go at sex, but after the third time she needed a bit of a break.

He brushed his lips against the back of her neck, enjoying the feeling of the goose pimples that he had caused against his mouth. "I'm not spooning you, I'm trying to squeeze you to death….but I'm still tired from last night. So…" He grinned, "…It just feels like a hug." He pulled her closer to his chest and kissed her bare shoulder.

"A death hug?" She laughed and buried her face into the down filled pillow.

He nodded, "Exactly. A hug with a bit of darkness."

"Uh huh, I think your morning breath would be more sufficient in ending my life compared to your apparent …."She turned over on to her back and looked at him, "…death hug." He looked good, well more than good but she didn't want to admit that. His hair was disheveled, his beard was a bit thicker, and his lips were swollen and a deeper pink than before. "I still despise you…" She said softly, her eyes searching his face and landing on his lips.

"Mmm, yea you're the bane of my existence too." He grinned and leaned in to kiss her deeply, regardless if his breath smelled or not. They remained in the lip lock for a few minutes before Sam felt a heavy pressure trample happily over his erection. He lightly yelped and looked at the dog that was eyeing him and his owner. "Ow…" He groaned out. Mercedes laughed and pulled the dog in between them. She kissed the top of his head and grinned at Sam. "What?" He asked softly as he looked over her beautiful naked form. He wanted this to happen more. Every day in fact. He wanted to see this woman beside him as much as humanly possible, even if she annoyed the crap out of him.

"What is this?" She chuckled, "What are we doing? I mean…I should kick you out of my bed right now or something and all I want to do is offer you a bowl of some stale cereal." She shrugged, "It's kind of weird being with you like this, but not really…" She laughed and closed her eyes, "Does any of that make sense?"

Sam nodded and scratched behind the pup's ears, "It makes a lot of sense. I really like being here with you Mercedes…" They looked at each other for a moment before Mercedes leaned up to kiss him again. Right before their lips could connect, the sound of muffled vibrating came from the ground. Sam raised an eyebrow and gave her a curious look, "What do you have under the bed Ms. Jones?" She rolled her eyes and laughed.

"It's your cellphone."

Sam's eyes widened as he dove off of the bed to grab his phone from his jeans pocket. He missed the call but got a very annoyed voice-mail from one of the home owners he was working with. "Shit." He muttered standing up and grabbing his things. He sucked in a breath and sneezed three times in a row. "Sorry….I have to go." He felt a bit congested, but brushed it off. Mercedes sat up and watched him dress.

"No problem." She gave him a small smile, "last night was a lot of fun. Maybe we can piss each other off again sometime and do it again."

Sam shook his head, "No, the minute that my stomach can handle food again…since it's still a bit sensitive…." He gave her a pointed look, "By the way, how'd you get the brownies in the fridge anyway?"

Mercedes laughed, "I went to the home owners the night before and told them that I was your assistant." She winked, "People are awfully gullible."

Sam gave her an unimpressed look, "Ah. Anyway, I would like to take you out on a dinner date, if you know, you're into that kind of thing."

She squinted one eye at him as she thought it over, "Sure. That can work." She was a bit nervous about it, but as much as Sam had annoyed her and threw around some threats, he hadn't _actually_ destroyed her career. "You're going to have to pay since your dog friend got me in trouble with the last home owners I worked with."

"If it's any comfort, Puck felt really bad about it after. He also fell off the roof that night and sprained a toe." He laughed.

Mercedes smiled. "Good."

Sam fixed his clothes and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "I hope no one talks to me on my way home. I didn't even brush my teeth." He grimaced and headed towards the door. Mercedes followed behind him naked as the day she was born. His eyes lingered for awhile and then he pulled her against his body for a moment, just hugging her. She returned the gesture and buried her face against his chest. He pulled away and sneezed again. "Jeese must be allergies."

"Maybe, get better and I'll see you soon." She wrapped her arms around herself and stepped behind the door as he opened it.

"Thanks." With that he left the apartment and headed out to speak to his clients.

* * *

Later that night Sam continuously coughed and sneezed, his head was boiling, but he felt ridiculously cold. He wrapped himself up in a warm blanket and shook as a headache pounded mercilessly at his head. His body had been hurting all day, but he assumed it had been from his night with Mercedes. Something was wrong, very wrong. He groaned and picked up his cell phone. "Crap…even my eyelashes are hurting." He croaked out as he dialed the familiar number. When she picked up the phone he sighed, "Hey ma, I'm not feeling too good. Can you swing by?"

Half an hour later, there she was with her thermometer, three cans of chunky soup, one can of chicken noodle soup, Buckley's flu and cold capsules, halls, Vicks vapor rub, and Neocitron. Sam eyed all the things she laid out on the kitchen table as he sat curled up in a blanket on the living room couch. "God ma, did you rob a CVS or something?" He glanced out the window in fear of approaching police sirens. The gray haired woman laughed and swatted the air.

"Don't be silly Samboni." He tried to smile at the childhood nickname, "I had all of these things home for your siblings, you know how sick your brother and sister get." She tutted as she made her way over to her eldest son and placed her hand on his forehead, "Oh baby you are burning up." Sam sighed as he watched her pop back into the kitchen and then come back out with two capsules and a glass of water. "Here chug these down."

"Thanks ma." He took the pills and attempted to get up, but his head began to sway as nausea overcame him. His mother wrapped her arm around his waist and helped into his bedroom, where he settled into bed. He immediately shut his eyes to stop the room from spinning and curled up into a fetal position which is how he slept for the rest of the night. He remembered waking up to use the bathroom and his mom continuously gave him medicine as well as tried to get him to eat some chicken broth, but it ultimately ended up in the toilet bowl. Everything else was a blur.

When his fever had finally broken, he rolled over and found his mom sitting on the bed reading a novel. There was a man with long hair and huge muscles on the cover. Sam noticed his mother was blushing and could only imagine what she was reading now. "Mom?" He croaked out, his voice dry and his throat sore. The older woman jumped and flung the book across the room. Both mother and son stared at the place it had landed.

"Oh my word you scared me hun." She chuckled nervously and placed her hand on his head again. He sighed under the cool touch and she grinned, "Good, you are getting much better now Samboni. Good thing you called me." Sam nodded and closed his eyes shut.

"Ma, what time is it?" He looked around for his phone and couldn't find it, which made him panic for a moment.

She looked at her watch and adjusted her glasses, "Oh it's 830." She said slowly, "My show's going to be on soon." He looked at her with a confused expression.

"830 am?" He inquired as he struggled to get up.

His mother laughed and shook her head, "Baby, you were really sick, you've been in and out of sleep for the last 24 hours or so." His eyes widened in shock. "Yea, I had to turn your phone off. It kept ringing off the hook."

"Shit." He groaned as he struggled to get up and ignored his mother's look of disapproval. "Sorry."

"Mhm, a nice woman called….Honda?...no Lexus?...hmmm Mercedes!" She smiled happily to herself, "She called to ask if you were going to a party or something along those lines. I told her you were sick and in no position to attend any parties today." His mother patted his arm reassuringly.

"Party?..." He mulled it over before his eyes grew big. He jumped out of bed as best as he could and ran into the living room to find his phone. It was on the coffee table. His mother slowly walked into the room concerned that he would keel over. "Shit shit shit…" He muttered under his breath as he looked at the missed calls. He put the phone to his ear and listened to the voicemails:

_Well hey there blondie, Sue Sylvester here. Haven't heard from you in a bit and I wanted to let you know that the plan was good to go. Me and my boy toy Chang are going to end that young woman's career in a blink of an eye tonight. I can't tell you how excited I am to do this and I am so pleased at this scheme that it's on the house, which means no need to pay me back Ken. We'll plant the pictures in her purse at the company party tonight, she won't even know what's coming! Well, alright. Make sure to delete this voicemail, I can't afford to go back to jail. Well maybe it wouldn't be so bad….I'd be in charge again, they used to call me Amazon Queen and i-_

Sam hung up the phone and dialed the number back multiple times, but to no avail. He looked at his mom with panic written all over his face. "Mom, I need you to drive me somewhere right now!"

* * *

Mercedes stepped into the party and greeted the people that she had previously met at parties before. She had piled her hair high on top of her head and wore a tight black dress that hugged her body perfectly like a glove, accentuating her ample bosoms. A part of her had hoped that Sam could have gone with her, but according to his mother he was very sick. It was a bit odd that a man in his thirties lived with his mother, but she figured she could look past that.

She held her purse to her side and watched the company's CEO talking to a few people across the room. She would try speaking to him after she grabbed something to eat from the buffet table. Her eyes surveyed the delicious treats when a very tall, blonde, older woman approached her with a smug look on her face. Mercedes couldn't remember seeing her before and assumed that she must have been new to the real estate world. "Well hey there." The woman smiled and stretched out her hand, "I'm Sue. Kind of a rookie around here, but I've heard a lot about you Mercedes Jones." She laughed and looked Mercedes over. Mercedes hesitantly shook the woman's hand and looked at her suspiciously.

"You've heard a lot about me?"

Sue nodded and adjusted her red dress before she grabbed herself a drink from a waiter who was passing by. The man looked her body up and down in an almost suggestive manner. Mercedes stared at the interaction between the attractive Asian man and the older woman. He was so enamoured with her that he accidentally walked into Mercedes with the drinks tray, spilling the contents down her dress. She jumped back in shock as the cold sticky champagne drenched the front of her dress. "I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed as he put the tray down and tried dabbing at her chest with napkins. Mercedes smacked his hand away from her. The woman named Sue pushed the man away and walked the younger woman towards the bathroom.

"What idiots they're hiring at this thing, you'd think that with all the money we rake in that they could afford to hire some Americans or something." Mercedes narrowed her eyes at the woman. "Here hand me your purse while you get cleaned up." The towering woman slightly pulled it off of Mercedes' shoulder and pushed her into the bathroom. She stared back at the closed door and wiped herself off with dampened towels. When she was finally done, she stepped back out to find the woman still standing there with the purse in her hands.

"Thank you." Mercedes said quietly as she grabbed the purse back from her. The blonde nodded and walked beside her even though she didn't typically want the company. If anything, she wanted to head home and just curl up in bed with her pup Louis.

"No problem Aretha,"

What?"

"Let's go talk to Roger." Sue steered Mercedes towards Roger Jacobson, the CEO. Mercedes stopped in her tracks and shook her head. This is not how she wanted him to see her.

"No! I'm heading home, excuse me." She tried to wrestle herself from the woman's grasp, but the taller female held on tightly.

"I'm sure he'd love to see you! He loves seeing everyone." Sue said through gritted teeth as she pushed Mercedes forward. "Come on." She hissed under her breath. By now people were staring at them and the commotion they were causing.

Mercedes fought back against the grip around her wrist, "Stop it!" She yelled. Sue grabbed her purse to pull Mercedes forward, by now the CEO was staring at them and approaching the conflict. With one final tug between the two, the purse went flying, the contents spilling everywhere. Everyone stared at the mess on the ground and the pictures that were scattered amongst the lip gloss, make-up brushes, keys, and change. Roger walked over, bent down, and picked up one of the pictures to stare at it.

"What in the world?" He looked at the two women.

Mercedes didn't know what was even on the picture, but she knew it wasn't hers. "That's not mine, I don't know who that belongs to." She shook her head and looked around in embarrassment. The man handed the picture over to Mercedes. She glanced down at it and furrowed her brow in confusion as she looked it over. The image was of a group of people dressed up in furry animal costumes who were performing some very interesting sexual acts.

Sue shook her head, "Oh yea, we got a Furry right here. I've heard of these kinds of acts before, but never met a real Furry in my life." Mercedes looked at her in shock, "uh huh, people who like getting off with other people while wearing large animal costumes." She made a disgusted expression, "Don't you get hot in those things?…oh my god I'm picturing the amount of stains on all that fur!"

"These are not mine! I've never seen this before in my life." Her lip began to quiver as she bent down to throw her things, excluding the pictures, back into her purse. Everyone stared at her, but refused to look her in the eye. She ran past the other agents and headed towards the front doors. The waiter who had spilled the drinks on her, smiled at her, and opened the door. She walked past him, but caught the whispered words he threw her way. "Sam sends his regards."

She looked back at him in horror before he closed the door in her face leaving her outside in the cool night. "Mercedes!" She heard her name and looked around as tears trickled down her face. Sam was hopping out of a car, wearing nothing but tennis shoes, pyjama pants, and a T-shirt. His nose was red and his eyes were puffy and rimmed. She stared at him for a long time. "Did…did you go inside already or..." Her eyes narrowed as more tears slid down her smooth cheeks. "Mercedes I-"

"Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't you ever come near me again." She hissed, "I knew you were capable of a lot of things Mr. Evans….but not this." She gave him one last dirty look before she turned on her heels and stormed away. He stood there silently as his mom watched him from the driver's seat. His phone vibrated in his hand, alerting him of a text message.

**Sue Sylvester:**

The deed is done.

9: 10 pm

A/N: One insane thing after another. This story is coming to a close, let me know what you think. Thanks for the reviews lovely people, they motivate me to keep on trucking.


	5. Chapter 5

Mercedes curled up on her couch with her favourite mug clasped in her tiny hands as she sat across from Quinn. The blonde stared at her long time friend, shock and anger darkening her normally light features. "He… did…. what?" She said the words slowly, keeping her voice low as Beth played with Louis in the bedroom. "That son of a feather duster did what?!" She asked more forcefully, but still in hushed tones. Mercedes slowly nodded as she brought the tea to her lips and took a tentative sip of the steaming brew.

"Quinn, you've been a mom for too long." She smiled sadly and sighed as she put the mug down. "But yea, that son of a feather duster embarrassed me in front of all of my colleagues…and the CEO of the company." A slight shrug raised her shoulders, "I've been thinking about it for a week…and I think I'm going to quit the company and find another one where nobody knows me." She bit her lip, "But first I'm going to call Mr. Jacobson, apologize for everything that happened, and hope that this blemish doesn't follow me to my next company."

Quinn pursed her lips, "If anyone should be apologizing, it's that jackrabbit. I swear to goodness, if I could get my hands on him, I would wear my sharpest high heels, and I would kick him right in the ass-."

"Mommy?"

Quinn looked at her daughter, "-steroid, kick him right in the asteroid." She cleared her throat and looked at the child. "How can I help you darling?" The little girl smiled and held up poor Louis. The little dog had his toenails painted and his hair was adorned with colourful little rubber bands.

"I made him beautiful."

Quinn made a face before she looked at Mercedes, "I am so sorry." Mercedes looked at her dog in shock. "Beth Christina Fabray, you take those rubber bands out of that little boy's hair right now."

Beth pouted, "But mommy…."

Quinn gave her a daughter a look. Beth sighed and toted Louis back into the room to get him cleaned up. The blonde woman turned to look back at her friend, "This is why I haven't let her get anything more than a hamster." She shook her head and drank her own tea, "You remember what she did to Popeye right? She dipped the poor thing in food colouring. He was green for a week. I'm pretty sure he died from being traumatised, but of course I wouldn't tell her that." Mercedes laughed and shook her head.

"It's alright. I know she loves that dog. I just wish she wouldn't use my good nail polish to make him beautiful." She closed her eyes for a moment and groaned, "Why did I sleep with him?...I mean, it was good…." She looked at Quinn, "It was damn good, like my eyelashes curled it was so good. But now that I know what he had been planning the whole time…" She stopped talking and shivered, "I'm so pissed."

Quinn shrugged, "Well, at least you had a good time before it all went down. I swear, if I see him in the streets…"

Mercedes laughed, "What are you going to do? Call him a son of a feather duster?" Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Maybe I will, maybe I'll cover Beth's ears and use some words that start with an 'F' and ends with a mother truckin 'K'. Don't forget who I was back in high school Cedes…" She smirked, "I used to be the HBIC all day everyday and you were right there beside me every step of the way."

"Mommy, what's a HBIC?" Beth popped up behind her mother's chair.

Quinn jumped and looked at her daughter who was holding the dog in her arms, "Good Lord child, we need to put some kind of bell on you."Her daughter stared at her as she awaited the answer to her question. "Um, it stands for a Happy Blonde in …" Quinn stared at her daughter for a moment as her mind raced, "…Church." Mercedes bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.

Beth smiled happily, "Oh mommy can I be a HBIC too?" Both Mercedes and Quinn stared at the little girl.

"Alright that's our cue to go." Quinn stood up and put her mug down on the table. She turned towards Mercedes, "Let me know when you're back from visiting your family up in Ohio. I probably should go visit too, but I've been too busy with this one." She tickled Beth who in turn squealed in delight.

"I'll pop in and say hi to your mom for you." Mercedes offered as she stood up to let the two ladies go. "Oh, and I'll bring Louis over before I head to the airport."

"Thanks." Quinn leaned in and hugged the shorter woman, "I love you. Stay strong." Mercedes returned the hug before breaking the embrace and leaning down to hug her niece.

"Bye." The two blondes left, leaving Mercedes to her own thoughts for a moment. She wandered over to her phone and saw the nine missed calls that Sam had left her for the day. It had been a week since the situation and she had blocked his number the very same night. She rolled her eyes, promptly deleted his voicemails, and dialed the head office of her company. Mercedes plopped down on to the arm of the couch and chewed her lip nervously as she waited.

"Hello, Mr. Jacobson's office. How may I help you?" The secretary answered cheerfully.

She stopped biting her lip and cleared her throat, "Hi, I just wanted to speak to Mr. Jacobson if he's in."

"He's a bit busy at the moment. May I ask who is speaking?"

"Mercedes Jones."

"Alright Ms. Jones, what is the nature of this call?" Mercedes rolled her eyes. She didn't think it would be this difficult to at least leave a message for the man.

She sighed, "The call is private in nature and I'd rather discuss it with Mr. Jacobson if you don't mind."

"Well I'm afraid that I must determine whether or not this call is important enough to bring to his attention at this very moment and so far you're not giving me any reason to believe that what you have to discuss is of any urgency."

Mercedes narrowed her eyes, "May I ask what your name is?"

There was a pregnant pause, "Rachel Berry. Why do you ask?"

Mercedes cracked her neck to the side, "Oh, just so I know who to report to HR for harassment." She wanted to pop the girl in the face to be honest, but she was already in enough hot water. "Now either give me an extension to leave a message or find a way for me to speak to Mr. Jacobson." Another long pause.

"Please hold." Mercedes heard very nice melodic elevator music play on the line as she waited. It was a nice break from the receptionist.

After a few moments, a deep and gruff voice answered, "Hello Ms. Jones?"

"Mr. Jacobson? I just called to apologize for everything that happened last week." She said quickly.

"Ah…" The man laughed, "…I was meaning to speak to you about that actually…hold on." She could hear him shuffling and then the sound of a door closing. "My receptionist is intolerable and likes to eavesdrop from time to time." Mercedes laughed, "If my son wasn't dating her …..anyhow, do you have a moment? I'd like to discuss something with you."

Her eyes widened, "Sure sir, how can I help you?..."

* * *

For over an hour, Sam sat in his car in front of the small house as he waited. His cell phone remained in his lap and he couldn't help but continuously glance at it, hoping that Mercedes was finally willing to hear his side of things. He was feeling much better physically, but mentally he was a wreck. When he had set things up to humiliate her, he had been so angry about the laxative situation that he hadn't properly though it through. Sue and he had merely discussed possible payback methods, but he had told her to wait for his go ahead. His lack of communication that night seemed to be the signal that she apparently needed to proceed with the plan. He had reprimanded her that night to no avail; she merely clicked her tongue in annoyance and stormed off. It made him nervous about what she had in store for him, but the only thing he truly cared about was rectifying things with Mercedes. He watched as the little car pulled up into the driveway and immediately stepped out of his car to rush to the woman's side.

He cleared his throat, "Excuse me." The woman jumped and clutched her chest.

"Beth stay in the car." She commanded to her daughter before she slammed the door shut and stared at him. "What do you want, you….." She turned back to the window, "Beth plug your ears like you do when grandma's singing." The little girl obeyed her mother's commands and covered her ears, humming a little song under her breath. Quinn turned back to the other blonde. "What do you want you asshole? I have half a mind to kick you in your Santa sack if you catch my drift."

Sam sucked in a breath, "Ah, so Mercedes told you what happened then."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Mercedes is my best friend. Of course she told me what happened. What kind of stupid question is that?"

This was going to be rough, "I've been trying to explain what happened to her, but she won't return any of my calls and she hasn't worked all week."

"Yea I wonder why." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Why are you here and how in the hell do you even know where I live?"

"I just know some people."

Quinn narrowed her eyes, "Uh huh, the same people who embarrassed my friend in public because you, mister idiot, started a stupid feud with her?!"

Sam sighed, "Look, I really like her and…"

"Uh huh I could tell, what was next pouring pigs blood on her from the rafters?! Gosh, if that's liking someone, then what do you do to people you love?" Her eyes grew wide in an almost comical manner, "Sacrifice them to Satan?"

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, "Quinn, I like her. I like her a lot and the competition between us was honestly funny in a messed up way. I wanted to end her career, yea I admit it, but not like that and especially not after we slept together." He sighed, "I was angry and I put things in motion, but I didn't want them to actually go ahead with it."

Quinn stared at him, "Well it's too late. She's quitting the company and she's moving back to Ohio." She knew that this was a lie, but she really wanted the man to feel bad. Sam's eyes widened. Bingo, there it was.

"What? That's insane…she can't …what?...when?" He sputtered out and rubbed the back of his neck as his mind raced.

"Yep, she's renting out her place until she can sell it officially, but she's leaving tomorrow afternoon and there's no telling when she will be back." She turned towards the car, "Beth baby, let's go inside."

Sam stood there for a moment as he processed the information. "How do I fix this?"

Quinn shrugged, "You embarrassed her beyond belief…unless you come up with a time machine…there's not much you can honestly do." He sighed and shut his eyes, "You want my advice?" He opened his eyes slowly and nodded, "Stay away from her." With that, she turned on her heels and entered the house with her daughter.

Sam shook his head. He knew exactly what he needed to do, and time was running out fast.

* * *

Mercedes stepped out of her apartment, dragging her suitcase behind her. She had dropped off Louis an hour before and now her taxi was waiting downstairs for her so that she could catch her flight. She quickly stepped into the elevator and walked out into the lobby to have her suitcase suddenly grabbed from her. Her head spun around to find Sam sheepishly holding on to the bag. "You have _got_ to be kidding me." Her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "Let go of my bag Sam."

"Mercedes I messed up, I know it and I am so sorry." He held her bag more tightly, "I can't take back what I did and there's no amount of apologies that will make you forgive me. But I just want to ask you for just thirty minutes of your time."

Mercedes rolled her eyes, "I don't have thirty minutes, now excuse me." She grabbed the bag and walked towards the entrance.

"Please," He pleaded. "And then I'll never bother you again." She paused and sighed, her back facing him.

"No more calls, no more emails, no more messages, no more texts."

Sam looked down at his feet, "You have my word, that I will never bother you again." She turned to look at him to make sure that he was being genuine.

"Your time starts now Evans." He nodded and stepped out through the entrance. She followed behind him to his car, where he tossed her things in the back, opened the door for her, and sped off. "Where are we going?" She asked in a slight panic, now realising that he might be attempting a kidnapping of sorts.

"You'll see soon enough." He stared at the street ahead, his face turning slightly red.

She remained quiet for the rest of the ride until they pulled up to a nice apartment building. "Who lives here?" Her eyes scanned the area.

"I do." He said quickly before hopping out of the car and opening the door for her. She timidly stepped out and followed him to the building's front entrance. "I'm thinking of moving though, it's too close to… well you'll see." He herded her to the elevator and waited impatiently for it to come down.

"You have ten minutes left Evans and this better not be some perverted trick or something." She scowled.

He laughed and shook his head, "Eh not quite a trick, but it is pretty perverted." She looked at him as he stepped into the elevator and beckoned for her to join him.

"That's not reassuring." She said slowly as he pressed the button for the top floor.

"I know, but I have to be honest with you." He looked at her for a long time and she could see the regret in his eyes, but that still wasn't enough to erase the embarrassment she had endured all thanks to him. Once they got to the top, he took her hand and walked her towards the stairs to the roof. A part of her wanted to pull her hand away, but it felt so nice to have their hands intertwine. She followed behind him as they climbed the stairs and stepped behind him once they were outside once again.

"Three minutes." She said softly before he turned her around to face a large billboard, very visible from where they were standing as well as probably miles away. "Oh….my ….god." Her eyes grew wide from the shock and she covered her mouth with her free hand. "Sam…what did you do?" Her shock was replaced with fits of laughter as she stared at the large sign overlooking the free way. A huge picture of Sam wearing assless chaps, a dog collar, and nothing else was on print for everyone to see. He was lying on his side on a large rug, winking at whoever had taken the photo. The words, 'I have been a very bad boy, come punish me and buy a house' was written above his posed body. On the bottom of the billboard was written, 'HONK IF YOU'RE READY to buy a house.' Even from where they were standing, she could hear the honks in the distance.

He nodded as he took in her expression, "Yea, the plan kind of backfired." He shrugged, "I thought less people would want my services, but my phone has been blowing up all morning." She looked up at him in shock, "There are a lot of horny folks out there Mercedes….a lot."

She chuckled and stared at the toned body displayed for all to see, "Why would you do that?"

"Because I like you and I couldn't take away your embarrassment, but I could add my own to the equation." He turned her to look at him, "I never meant to actually hurt you, I made that plan when I was pissed off about the laxatives and I got sick so I didn't have time to…to stop everything." He rubbed his hands down her sides, "I know this doesn't really fix anything, but I'll do whatever it takes for you to not move back to Ohio."

Mercedes raised a brow, "I'm not moving back, I'm just visiting for a week." Sam smacked his forehead and groaned. "Why did you think I was moving?"

He rolled his eyes, "A little blonde birdie told me." Mercedes laughed, "Well whatever, I still would have done this." She sighed and looked into his cool green eyes.

"Alright…I think I can forgive you….but there's one more thing I want you to do for me and then we can move forward and pretend this never happened." She leaned up and placed a light kiss to his lips.

He deepened it before pulling back, "Anything…"

Mercedes grinned mischievously. "Anything?"

* * *

They stood at the door fidgeting slightly as they waited for the host to greet them. Sam kept twisting the large head on top of his own, "Oh god, I think I might be claustrophobic." He whined from inside the large dog head.

Mercedes rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see them with the large cat head on top of her own. "You didn't know this before renting the dog costume?"

Sam groaned, "It's not like I wear a large dog head every day Mercedes." She could hear him breathing heavily from beside her.

"Are you okay?"

Sam shrugged, "No, I really shouldn't have eaten those burritos before coming tonight." He coughed, "They're attacking with a smelly vengeance."

Mercedes gagged, "Ugh Sam!" She turned to look at the man beside her. Well she couldn't see the man exactly. The door finally opened to reveal a large skunk costume. "Hi, I'm Mercedes." She waved at the unknown individual.

"Oh! Mercedes, come on in." Came the familiar gruff voice. She stepped in behind the man and was followed by Sam who all but stumbled over the threshold. "I'm so glad you came."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world Mr. Jacobson." She nodded to show that she was happy to be there since he couldn't see her face.

The man shook his head, "Oh no, I'm Pepe here, no need for formalities." He laughed and Mercedes awkwardly laughed with him. "We're family here." Sam pulled the large dog head off of his body and wiped his brow with his covered hand. "Oh look at who we have here." Mr. Jacobson pat Sam on his shoulder. "I saw your billboard young man."

Sam blushed and bit the inside of his mouth, "Ah…you did?"

The skunk nodded, "Yes I did, I think you'd really enjoy the next party I have. I think it will be more your…speed. A lot more leather and chains." He laughed. Sam slowly turned his head to stare at Mercedes in absolute horror.

"So Pepe…what does one do here?" She asked through the mouth space. Sam put the dog head back on to hide his embarrassment. The skunk shrugged.

"Mingle, talk to people, whatever you want to really." He led them to the living room where hoards of different people dressed as animals danced and spoke. "I know you're more into the sex stuff, but we're a bit tamer here. However, if that's what you are looking for then let me know. I know another cat who would die to meet you." Sam put a protective arm around Mercedes, well as best he could through the costumes.

"This pussy's mine." He declared. Mercedes flushed under the head.

Mr. Jacobson laughed, "That's fine too, most people here are couples anyways." They watched as he looked around and then heard the doorbell, "Make yourselves at home, enjoy." He pushed them more into the room.

"Well you heard the man." She could hear Sam's laugh echoing inside his head.

Mercedes sighed as she looked around, "Why did I have to be a cat?" Everyone else's costume looked amazing.

"Because everyone loves cats…well I don't, I had one break in a few weeks ago and I'm still a bit traumatised to be honest." She looked at him and giggled. "You look beautiful, even if you're a cat." He leaned in to kiss her and then stopped, "Oh yea, never mind."

"Well thanks for the support."

"Anytime babe. Now let's have some fun." He stepped into the middle of the room and howled much to her embarrassment. Everyone stopped to stare at him for a moment, "Who let the dogs out?!" He yelled out. Mercedes stared at the man she was dating, hoping that she could send messages to him telepathically. She was surprised when a chorus of 'who, who, who, who' came from the party goers. Even the DJ changed the song to 'Who Let the Dogs Out' by the Baha Men. Mercedes laughed and joined the body rolling dog in the middle of the room. Had anyone told her a month ago that she would have had a boyfriend, she would have scoffed, and if they had told her that she'd be wearing a cat costume to a Furry party, she would have doubled over laughing. But here she was with both and strangely enough, she couldn't have been happier.

A/N: Alright everyone! I hope you enjoyed this quick little story. I had fun writing it and planning it with an amazing friend of mine (AW) and I would like to thank you for the kind comments and reviews. As always I love seeing what you think and reviews are always welcomed. Please excuse any spelling errors.


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